Excitement and Withdrawal

I miss Spring Awakening and it needs to come back to St. Louis...like NOW! Ok so maybe I need to be patient and let M see it in Ohio before I demand it back here, but I do really miss it a lot. I'm amazed at how attached I got to being a Guilty One and being a part of that incredible group of people. We already have a trip to the City Museum planned to give us something to look forward to in the near future and we're definitely traveling to Louisville and Chicago to see the show again! Of course, now we all have to work like crazy to rebuild our bank accounts that are now empty from paying for student rush tickets...

So, a group of complete strangers and seeing a show a gazillion times in 12 days made me realize a few things:
1. I want my life and my work to involve music.

2. I don't want to deal with the loss and grief of nursing...not to mention all of the puke and poop and yuckiness...

So, I'm switching my major at SWIC (the community college I go to) to music education and I'm going to be an elementary music teacher when I grow up. I've known that nursing wasn't for me for a long time and it took this musical and these people to make me realize that I have to make myself happy because in the end "the sadness the doubt all the loss the grief will belong to some play from the past" and if I don't put it behind me, it never will be a part of the past and I'll have to deal with it every day.

I think part of the reason I wanted to be a nurse was to help kids who are hurting and are in a time of need. I have always wanted to work with kids. I told my mom when I was about 3 years old that I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up but my personality changed a lot in high school and I thought that nursing would be for me. What I didn't allow myself to realize was that my personality has changed a lot again in the last 6 months and being a teacher is something that I believe the new me would be able to love and enjoy. Someone I talked to today let me know that music teachers are in high demand in inner city schools. If I work in an inner city school, I'm still going to be dealing with kids who are hurting and in that time of need. Music has always been something I've gone to for relief from my problems and has recently been something that I've run to when times are bad so to get to share that with others would make me so incredibly happy.

I'm very relieved to have made the choice and to have my parents' approval on the switch. Now it's just time to decide how I'm actually going to get there. I have to map out my journey and start traveling in that direction. I just hope the road to get there will be enjoyable and when I get there it will have been worth it...

...so how does this relate to the musical? Well...I think it will affect it somehow. M, B, and I had our first finger chat in a very long time and while we really only discussed my love for Matt Shingledecker and flying giraffes, at least we got to chat. Our lives should all calm down soon and we'll be able to get moving on it again. Plus, since I'll be taking music classes, I should be getting plenty of encouragement and ideas for songs...not that a million years of piano lessons haven't done that...but you know.

End-of-Quarter Blues

As Katie said in the post before, the musical has been put in some kind of strange state of limbo for the time being. It's not fully in limbo, because I think we're all working on our various pieces when we have the time (for example, I started to write another scene in the book...didn't get very far...), but we haven't had the opportunity to chat in a while and that's, well, not helpful. Writing a musical when the three creators live in three different states is REALLY hard, a lesson I think we're all learning far too well.



My life, however, has been consumed by senior essay presentation for the last month or so. It's a class I've been in all quarter, but it's really kicked up in insanity over the last month. At my university, all the departments have to have some kind of presentation requirement for the graduating seniors. For most, this presentation is called capstone and revolves around research and other fun things like that. For the English department, however, this presentation is called...well...senior essay presentations. We all have spent the last two quarters working on intensive revisions and re-writes of projects we started in other classes. In my case, my "essay" is my novel-in-progress (no, Katie, there are still no flying giraffes). And while doing all these revisions we also have to prepare a presentation...we have to pick out what parts we believe are most important. In the case of us creative writing majors, this presentation usually focuses a lot on the writing process. I know I mentioned this presentation in my last post, so I'll spare you from the rest of my stressing.


On the bright side, I present on Saturday (AHHHH), then I have to survive my Environment and Man final. And then I get to go on a trip to Appleton, WI (to see Wicked) and Chicago with two of my best friends. Next quarter should be about a million times better...I'm only going to be taking 12 credit hours. Maybe after I get past this quarter, the musical will get worked on more from my side of things.



Oh, and I'm seeing Spring Awakening (stage seats) on March 15 in Cleveland. I fully blame Katie and B.

I'm Guilty

We haven't worked on the musical in forever. We were supposed to have a chat last night but my crazy life prevented that from happening. I'm finding it quite difficult to balance school, work, and friends at the moment and all of my free time is being taken up by my new love, being a Guilty One. So for those of you who haven't seen Spring Awakening, here's a note I wrote on Facebook to hopefully catch your interest. It's an amazing musical and you should definitely check out the cast recording or the libretto and maybe even see it on tour or if you happen to be in London or Sweden any time soon.

As Spring Awakening opening night keeps getting closer and closer, I keep getting more and more excited. This is one of those shows that can be seen in two ways, you can go and watch and enjoy the story and music and leave being completely entertained, or you can go and be completely awakened by the show.

I think Christians should go see the show because there is a powerful message to learn from it. When I first heard the cast recording and saw the Tony Awards performance, I was completely surprised. I didn't know what half of the lyrics were talking about or what they meant. When I first saw the hayloft scene, I was a little scared to see the show. Something about the show really captured attention and didn't let me stop thinking about the show. The hayloft is every Christian's nightmare. They spend their time trying to convince their children to wait until marriage and the children fear not being able to. When that scene occurs, it's terrifying for Christians. The amazing thing is the lyrics in the song being sung by the ensemble as that scene is going on. "I believe all will be forgiven...I believe there is love in heaven." I think this musical can show people the benefits of waiting until they are married and this scene can teach us that even when we mess up and even when we are at our lowest, there is still love in heaven and all will still be forgiven.

I think teenagers should go see this show because it is completely relatable to every teen. We've all felt like something was "the bitch of living" and we've all felt "totally fucked" and we all want to know what's going on with "the word of your body" and those are scary things to talk about. This show puts those feelings into songs with lyrics that constantly run through my head when I'm in those situations and more teens need to hear those lyrics and have them to pull out when needed. Every teen has had their Wendla day when they want to go back to their childhood. Every teen has had their Moritz day when they just want it all to go away. Every teen has had their Melchior day when they feel like they know more than the authority figures in their lives.

I think parents should go to see this show because if they can't understand their kids, they can definitely understand these kids. The actors in Spring Awakening are perfect. They display the joy, pain, and all other emotions of being a teen in an amazingly real way. Maybe it's because most of them are teens and young adults themselves. Going to see this show will remind parents what it was like to be a teenager and remind them of what their children are going through every day. Parents can definitely learn something from this play, too. The fact that the play begins with Wendla asking her mother where babies really come from is enough to merit parents needing to see the show. The lies, the stresses, the pressure put on the children that makes them act in the ways they do and that push them to do what they do should remind parents of their incredible role in the lives of children and teens.

I think educators should go see this show because there is definitely a lesson for teachers to learn. When Moritz is struggling in school, instead of helping him, the adults want him gone. So many students feel that way today, like the educators are out to get them. Teachers can learn to support students and realize how the stresses of life can affect their school work from this show.

I think psychologists should go see this show because there are just some things they didn't teach you in grad school. Melchior and Hanschen are quite the psychologists in this show, twisting reality to achieve what they want. Moritz could have definitely used some psychological help but there was no one there for these kids to help them with their issues. It's funny how kids today have these same issues, obviously since they flock to this show, and still there is not a whole lot of help out there for them.

I think medical professionals should go see this show because education is the key. The characters in this musical had so little education about their bodies that they are easily manipulated. Even when Wendla goes to the doctor, there is no truth in his words. Medical professionals should take from this show the need to address the patient, not the problem and to educate the best they possibly can. 30 extra seconds in the room discussing difficult topics with a teen can make a huge difference that could save their life.

I think anyone with an opinion on abortion should go see this show because too many people aren't seeing the big picture. Whether pro choice or pro life, everyone can feel pain for this young girl. Whether pro choice or pro life, something can be taken from Wendla's experience. Closed minds should not be admitted to the theaters. This is a story for all to examine.

I think anyone suicidal should go see this show. Moritz. Enough said.

I think anyone caught in the abstinence only/ comprehensive sex education debate should come see this show. These children were not educated on any sexual topics at all and look what happened. Take from it what you want but view it as a learning experience for yourself.I think anyone who has ever been a teenager should go see this show. There are so many memories and feelings that can come out of this show. Use them to make you stronger and remember you of your past. Whether you had a good childhood or it was the worst part of your life, these memories should never be forgotten and this is a story that is not to be forgotten either.If you fit into any of these categories, go see Spring Awakening when it comes to a city near you. Everyone can find something in it for them and can learn from the show. Whether you've lived through these experiences or want to aid your children through them, this show really can change your life and the way you think.

I'll be at Spring Awakening when it's here in St. Louis. If you'd like to join me visit www.fabulousfox.com or www.metrotix.com for tickets.