My ears hurt

*yelling across two states* Oh, B! I'm right here!

I found you!

Oh where...

Oh whereeeeee are my co-conspirators? Oh whereeeee are my co-conspirators? Oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh whereeeeee are my co-conspirators?

Happy Happy Birthday, M!!

Today is our fearless book writer's 22nd birthday!

Happy birthday, M! :D

Doom's Day

Watch out, Louisville! All THREE of us (that's right...Katie, B, AND me) will all be in the same city (heck, the same hotel and theatre) at the same time on Wednesday! The three of us have never been in the same place at the same time before, so who knows what will happen? I don't know if the universe is prepared for this yet, but it's happening anyway. Maybe a black hole will form...dogs will bark constantly...birds will flee the city...people will scream "the apocolypse is coming!"

...

Or maybe we'll just geek it out hardcore on stage at Spring Awakening.

It will be an interesting day, nonetheless. ;)

Is this for real?

...because I'm pretty sure I must be dreaming. I am DONE. I took my last final this morning...and I'm DONE with my college career. And it just doesn't feel like it's really happening. I half expect to wake up and it be, I dunno, three months ago and I've just gotten home from Chicago.

But, no, that was actually three months ago and now I'm done studying and writing papers and jumping through hoops to pass a class. Once my last two grades are posted, I'll officially be completely done. And on Sunday, I'll walk across that stage and get my degree. Even then, I'm pretty sure I'll still be pinching myself.

Have I seriously been in school for 18 years? And am I seriously done with it? It's a strange feeling.

Since the roomie and I are both stuck here until Monday, because of graduation on Sunday (I'm graduating...she's playing in the band), we're going out to celebrate the end of finals week tonight. We're heading to Lima (the nearest "city") to eat at La Charraeda (or however you spell it...La Cha...there) one last time before I graduate and then we're going to go see Angels & Demons. It should be a good time...and a good end to senior year. :)

And the nominees are...

So, today the Tony noms were announced. Not gonna lie, kinda sad that [tos] was shunned as much as they were. I wasn't really expecting them to receive that many noms, but I figured at least Heidi, Susan, Jeff and Hunter would get noms in their respective categories. However, if they're okay with getting only the Best Book of a Musical nom, even if it is just HB's name on the award, I'm okay with it. I'm proud of them for that.

I'm also super duper excited that Next to Normal got 11 noms! Alice Ripley is fierce, so is Bobby Spencer! However...no Aaron Tveit? Pshhh he's hot AND talented! Guess I gotta be grateful for what I got, so, still verrrry happy for them!

Thanks, Tony Awards Nomination Committee for at least a half-amazing birthday present to wake up to this morning :)

The Distance I've Come

I'm now under a month from graduation. This coming weekend is an alumnae celebration for my sorority's 50th anniversary. It's a little surreal to think that...the next time there's an alumnae celebration of any sort...I'll be one of the alumnae. Next week is the Senior Send-Off in Lima. We're supposedly getting our caps and gowns soon. My very last initiation ceremony (and very last Honors Day) of my college career is only about two weeks away. It's hard to believe my college career is ending. I've been submitting resumes to various places. A few days ago, I actually started researching literary agents.

There's a song in particular that has kind of become one of my theme songs lately, as I'm facing my future. It's called "The Distance You Have Come" and is written by Scott Alan. If you've never heard of Scott Alan, you should get on that. He's an amazing composer and lyricist. He has two CDs out, "Dreaming Wide Awake" and "Keys" (which is the one this song is on) and he has Broadway peeps perform his songs on the CDs. Natalie Weiss sings this particular song. And, like I said, it's pretty much become my theme song as of late, so I thought I'd share it here.



I don't know where tomorrow finds me
The only thing I know is where I'm standing now
In this life, there's never been a guarantee
Which seems to be the only guarantee I've found

But keep your eyes upon the road
Keep driving
It won't be long until you see a sign
That says that you're arriving

And when you reach that day
When you've conquered what's behind you
Don't forget the fight it took to get you here
And when you reach the top
Of the mountain you've been climbing
Don't forget the distance you have come

It's hard, when no one
Tells you if you're winning
But just remind yourself how far
That you've already come
And some days you may feel that
There is no ending
But if you give up now, you'll never know
If you could have won

So keep your eyes upon the road
Keep driving
It won't be long until you see a sign
That says that you're arriving

And when that day has come
When you've conquered what's behind you
Don't forget the moments that have
Come before
And when you reach that place
When you're miles from where you started
Don't forget the distance you have come

And there'll be days
When the weight of the world will bind you
And you're wondering if
The world really needs you
But keep on going
Keep on driving on
'Cause the sign ahead
Will soon be behind you

And when you reach that day
When you've conquered what's behind you
Don't forget the fight it took to get you here
And when you reach the top
Of the mountains you've been climbing
Don't forget the distance
And when that day has come
And you've conquered what's behind you
Don't forget the moments
That have come before
And when you reach that place
When you're miles from where you started
Don't forget the distance
Don't forget the distance
Don't forget the distance
Don't forget, don't forget the distance
You have come

For your listening/viewing pleasure...here's a video of Natalie singing this song. Enjoy!

Like a good neighbor, [title of show] is there!

And they really are. Whenever you need a pick-me-up, head over to [title of show]'s YouTube page and watch the [title of show] show from the very beginning. Hilarious <3

And yes, I did post like the exact same post, verbatim, on my blog.

Hilarity

I posted this video on my other blog as well. Long story short...I spend too much time on Youtube and my stupid computer keeps going blue screen of death on me. So the logical thing for me to do is look up "blue screen of death" on Youtube and see what pops up. This video pretty much made my day.

Long Time, No Post.

Since M pimped her blog, I'm pimping mine (not that mine is interesting or whatev, just wanted to post something on here hahaha)

http://bahrtalicious.blogspot.com

Still a work in progress...gonna spruce it up when I get time to play in PSP :)

M & Katie! We NEED to chat about the musical, once your semesters slow down some!

Next to Normal and the Easter Bunny

I miss being little when Easter meant Easter Egg finding, sugar highs, and giant chocolate bunnies. Unfortunately, I'm just really not excited for Easter this year. If I could just skip tomorrow all together, I'd be pretty happy. I love my family but I require a LOT of Katie-time alone which I don't really get over holidays. My lack of ability to sleep paired with working a ton has just made me generally grumpy and grouchy lately. Unfortunately, with an A&P lab exam and a biology lecture exam on Wednesday, I don't think this week will be any more calm. Hopefully tomorrow will be a nice day and I can walk my dog down to the park to play and get away for a while. *cue A Way Back to Then*

This new musical opened on Broadway a week or so ago called Next To Normal. It's actually an original musical (I know, I thought they were going extinct too...) about a dysfunctional family. The cast recording was released on Tuesday and the minute I heard it, I fell in love. I absolutely LOVE this musical. I can really relate to it which is both amazing and very scary at the same time but if you have a chance, you should check it out. Alice Ripley(the one Jeffy thinks is fierce), Aaron Tveit(the one you will immediately fall in love with), and Jennifer Damiano(the one from the OBC of Spring Awakening) star in it.

Just like always, we've gotten no farther on our musical, but I did have to buy myself a new notebook (this one's fun stripes since I filled the Tinker Bell and Princess notebooks...) to write ideas and thoughts in. Hopefully this summer when B gets a new job, M has graduated, and I'm out of school we'll have time to keep working on it and we'll see where it goes!

So hopefully you have a happy Easter/Passover and I hope the Easter Bunny hops over to your house tonight and leaves some yummy candy.

Please check it out!

So in my last post, I mentioned that I was thinking of making a blog for my writing and my novel, so I can talk solely about my creative writing somewhere. With the encouragement of my friend Emmy, I decided to go ahead and do that. Never fear, I'll still post on here! But I would greatly appreciate if you would check out my other blog...merely for support purposes. :)

http://erinleighmillar.blogspot.com/

44 days

Today marked 44 days on my countdown to graduation. And I still don't know what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. I've gone to career fairs, submitted a couple resumes, and...yeah...still no clue.

The best thing is that whenever I tell someone that I'm graduating in a bit more than a month (or whenever I talk to someone who already knows that), I always get the same question. "What are your plans after graduation?" And I always have the same answer: "No idea."

Yeah, it's good times.

On another note, I'm considering starting a blog for my novel and other author-y (as my friend Emmy call it) musings outside of this musical. Thoughts, anyone?

How I feel lately...

I saw this picture on I Can Has Cheezeburger. I've gotten rather addicted to this site lately because it makes me smile and makes my day better. And THIS is how I've been feeling this quarter:

Stupid weather...

I wish the weather would make up its mind. I'm tired of this having to wear a winter coat to my morning classes, but then just wearing a sweatshirt to everything else. It's hard to plan for and obnoxious. I say this every year, but it always bothers me. If it wants to be cold out, fine, be cold out. But stay cold out for the entire day, so I can just keep the apartment thermostat on heat rather than having to switch back and forth from heat to AC. I would prefer it be warm, but...since when has Ohio weather done what people want?

Spring Awakening and growing pains

I appreciate Katie's willingness to let me see Spring Awakening (in about twelve hours and forty-five minutes!) before she begs for it back. I also appreciate the comment she left on my facebook status in which she stated that she is "soooooooooooooooo jealous" of me seeing it tomorrow...and then proceeding to admit she saw it seven times plus a cabaret only a month ago. Ah, friendship at its finest. :P

Yes, indeed, I am seeing Spring Awakening tomorrow. Well, technically it's "today," but I haven't gone to sleep for the night yet, so in my mind its tomorrow. I'm roadtripping with my roommate, Kathleen, to Cleveland. That's a three-hour drive from here. Which means we have to leave around 8 in the morning to give ourselves enough elbow room to potentially get lost, pick up our "will call" tickets, and find somewhere to eat lunch (even though we're brown-bagging it). Let's face it...this is just a practice run for the day trip Kathleen and I will be taking to NYC (9 hour drive...at least) when [title of show] reopens. *cough* Anywho, the show starts at 1. So regardless of the early morning that is looming its ugly face right now...I'm terribly excited to finally see this show live! AND I have a stage seat, so the excitement is just magnified because of that.

Something I've learned recently...or...again...whatever...is that while I'm excited to be graduating from college in a couple months...I'm TERRIFIED of it too. This isn't really a new revelation, but it's becoming more real now that I've started my final quarter here. Various things keep popping up their heads making me realize that this is really happening. Last quarter it was ordering my cap, gown, and graduation announcements. This quarter (already) it has been the notification of my graduation application being received (and pending "successful completion" of the courses I'm in now, it being accepted fully) as well as a thick packet of commencement weekend materials. This packet contained everything from a schedule for the weekend to how many tickets I can approximately get for graduation. On top of that stuff, the senior class of my sorority is also gearing up for our time in the chapter to come to an end. And while I'm excited to graduate and go out into the "real world"...I'm also completely petrified. Growing pains, I guess.

So that's currently the world according to M. Broadway shows, looming graduation, and...well, not much writing going on. I should probably get on that...

Excitement and Withdrawal

I miss Spring Awakening and it needs to come back to St. Louis...like NOW! Ok so maybe I need to be patient and let M see it in Ohio before I demand it back here, but I do really miss it a lot. I'm amazed at how attached I got to being a Guilty One and being a part of that incredible group of people. We already have a trip to the City Museum planned to give us something to look forward to in the near future and we're definitely traveling to Louisville and Chicago to see the show again! Of course, now we all have to work like crazy to rebuild our bank accounts that are now empty from paying for student rush tickets...

So, a group of complete strangers and seeing a show a gazillion times in 12 days made me realize a few things:
1. I want my life and my work to involve music.

2. I don't want to deal with the loss and grief of nursing...not to mention all of the puke and poop and yuckiness...

So, I'm switching my major at SWIC (the community college I go to) to music education and I'm going to be an elementary music teacher when I grow up. I've known that nursing wasn't for me for a long time and it took this musical and these people to make me realize that I have to make myself happy because in the end "the sadness the doubt all the loss the grief will belong to some play from the past" and if I don't put it behind me, it never will be a part of the past and I'll have to deal with it every day.

I think part of the reason I wanted to be a nurse was to help kids who are hurting and are in a time of need. I have always wanted to work with kids. I told my mom when I was about 3 years old that I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up but my personality changed a lot in high school and I thought that nursing would be for me. What I didn't allow myself to realize was that my personality has changed a lot again in the last 6 months and being a teacher is something that I believe the new me would be able to love and enjoy. Someone I talked to today let me know that music teachers are in high demand in inner city schools. If I work in an inner city school, I'm still going to be dealing with kids who are hurting and in that time of need. Music has always been something I've gone to for relief from my problems and has recently been something that I've run to when times are bad so to get to share that with others would make me so incredibly happy.

I'm very relieved to have made the choice and to have my parents' approval on the switch. Now it's just time to decide how I'm actually going to get there. I have to map out my journey and start traveling in that direction. I just hope the road to get there will be enjoyable and when I get there it will have been worth it...

...so how does this relate to the musical? Well...I think it will affect it somehow. M, B, and I had our first finger chat in a very long time and while we really only discussed my love for Matt Shingledecker and flying giraffes, at least we got to chat. Our lives should all calm down soon and we'll be able to get moving on it again. Plus, since I'll be taking music classes, I should be getting plenty of encouragement and ideas for songs...not that a million years of piano lessons haven't done that...but you know.

End-of-Quarter Blues

As Katie said in the post before, the musical has been put in some kind of strange state of limbo for the time being. It's not fully in limbo, because I think we're all working on our various pieces when we have the time (for example, I started to write another scene in the book...didn't get very far...), but we haven't had the opportunity to chat in a while and that's, well, not helpful. Writing a musical when the three creators live in three different states is REALLY hard, a lesson I think we're all learning far too well.



My life, however, has been consumed by senior essay presentation for the last month or so. It's a class I've been in all quarter, but it's really kicked up in insanity over the last month. At my university, all the departments have to have some kind of presentation requirement for the graduating seniors. For most, this presentation is called capstone and revolves around research and other fun things like that. For the English department, however, this presentation is called...well...senior essay presentations. We all have spent the last two quarters working on intensive revisions and re-writes of projects we started in other classes. In my case, my "essay" is my novel-in-progress (no, Katie, there are still no flying giraffes). And while doing all these revisions we also have to prepare a presentation...we have to pick out what parts we believe are most important. In the case of us creative writing majors, this presentation usually focuses a lot on the writing process. I know I mentioned this presentation in my last post, so I'll spare you from the rest of my stressing.


On the bright side, I present on Saturday (AHHHH), then I have to survive my Environment and Man final. And then I get to go on a trip to Appleton, WI (to see Wicked) and Chicago with two of my best friends. Next quarter should be about a million times better...I'm only going to be taking 12 credit hours. Maybe after I get past this quarter, the musical will get worked on more from my side of things.



Oh, and I'm seeing Spring Awakening (stage seats) on March 15 in Cleveland. I fully blame Katie and B.

I'm Guilty

We haven't worked on the musical in forever. We were supposed to have a chat last night but my crazy life prevented that from happening. I'm finding it quite difficult to balance school, work, and friends at the moment and all of my free time is being taken up by my new love, being a Guilty One. So for those of you who haven't seen Spring Awakening, here's a note I wrote on Facebook to hopefully catch your interest. It's an amazing musical and you should definitely check out the cast recording or the libretto and maybe even see it on tour or if you happen to be in London or Sweden any time soon.

As Spring Awakening opening night keeps getting closer and closer, I keep getting more and more excited. This is one of those shows that can be seen in two ways, you can go and watch and enjoy the story and music and leave being completely entertained, or you can go and be completely awakened by the show.

I think Christians should go see the show because there is a powerful message to learn from it. When I first heard the cast recording and saw the Tony Awards performance, I was completely surprised. I didn't know what half of the lyrics were talking about or what they meant. When I first saw the hayloft scene, I was a little scared to see the show. Something about the show really captured attention and didn't let me stop thinking about the show. The hayloft is every Christian's nightmare. They spend their time trying to convince their children to wait until marriage and the children fear not being able to. When that scene occurs, it's terrifying for Christians. The amazing thing is the lyrics in the song being sung by the ensemble as that scene is going on. "I believe all will be forgiven...I believe there is love in heaven." I think this musical can show people the benefits of waiting until they are married and this scene can teach us that even when we mess up and even when we are at our lowest, there is still love in heaven and all will still be forgiven.

I think teenagers should go see this show because it is completely relatable to every teen. We've all felt like something was "the bitch of living" and we've all felt "totally fucked" and we all want to know what's going on with "the word of your body" and those are scary things to talk about. This show puts those feelings into songs with lyrics that constantly run through my head when I'm in those situations and more teens need to hear those lyrics and have them to pull out when needed. Every teen has had their Wendla day when they want to go back to their childhood. Every teen has had their Moritz day when they just want it all to go away. Every teen has had their Melchior day when they feel like they know more than the authority figures in their lives.

I think parents should go to see this show because if they can't understand their kids, they can definitely understand these kids. The actors in Spring Awakening are perfect. They display the joy, pain, and all other emotions of being a teen in an amazingly real way. Maybe it's because most of them are teens and young adults themselves. Going to see this show will remind parents what it was like to be a teenager and remind them of what their children are going through every day. Parents can definitely learn something from this play, too. The fact that the play begins with Wendla asking her mother where babies really come from is enough to merit parents needing to see the show. The lies, the stresses, the pressure put on the children that makes them act in the ways they do and that push them to do what they do should remind parents of their incredible role in the lives of children and teens.

I think educators should go see this show because there is definitely a lesson for teachers to learn. When Moritz is struggling in school, instead of helping him, the adults want him gone. So many students feel that way today, like the educators are out to get them. Teachers can learn to support students and realize how the stresses of life can affect their school work from this show.

I think psychologists should go see this show because there are just some things they didn't teach you in grad school. Melchior and Hanschen are quite the psychologists in this show, twisting reality to achieve what they want. Moritz could have definitely used some psychological help but there was no one there for these kids to help them with their issues. It's funny how kids today have these same issues, obviously since they flock to this show, and still there is not a whole lot of help out there for them.

I think medical professionals should go see this show because education is the key. The characters in this musical had so little education about their bodies that they are easily manipulated. Even when Wendla goes to the doctor, there is no truth in his words. Medical professionals should take from this show the need to address the patient, not the problem and to educate the best they possibly can. 30 extra seconds in the room discussing difficult topics with a teen can make a huge difference that could save their life.

I think anyone with an opinion on abortion should go see this show because too many people aren't seeing the big picture. Whether pro choice or pro life, everyone can feel pain for this young girl. Whether pro choice or pro life, something can be taken from Wendla's experience. Closed minds should not be admitted to the theaters. This is a story for all to examine.

I think anyone suicidal should go see this show. Moritz. Enough said.

I think anyone caught in the abstinence only/ comprehensive sex education debate should come see this show. These children were not educated on any sexual topics at all and look what happened. Take from it what you want but view it as a learning experience for yourself.I think anyone who has ever been a teenager should go see this show. There are so many memories and feelings that can come out of this show. Use them to make you stronger and remember you of your past. Whether you had a good childhood or it was the worst part of your life, these memories should never be forgotten and this is a story that is not to be forgotten either.If you fit into any of these categories, go see Spring Awakening when it comes to a city near you. Everyone can find something in it for them and can learn from the show. Whether you've lived through these experiences or want to aid your children through them, this show really can change your life and the way you think.

I'll be at Spring Awakening when it's here in St. Louis. If you'd like to join me visit www.fabulousfox.com or www.metrotix.com for tickets.

Wow...

Okay, so...we are not so great at updating this thing. But in our defense, we haven't had a group chat in a loooong time, so there's really been nothing to say. Never fear, however, we're still writing. Katie's gotten a whole slew of new song ideas (mostly because of stuff that has happened or been said in real life, as far as I can tell). I honestly have no idea what B's been up to (not that I ever do...seriously, she's always about a mile ahead of me). I've finally rewritten our opening scene for the book. We changed the opening concept when we finally started doing an outline a month or so ago, but I never got around to writing the new opening and seeing how it works. I think I like it. :)

On my side, however, I wouldn't count on much writing getting done before next quarter. We're at the dreaded midterm time right now (dumdumdummmmm), which means I also have some papers due. Outside of that, though, being in winter quarter as a senior English major means...I have capstone presentation in four weeks. FOUR WEEKS! Ah! Which means I'm frantically trying to reach my goal in my novel, starting to think of how I want to present this thing, and not have a complete nervous breakdown. I'm usually pretty...okay...with speaking in front of people, especially over the last few years as a communications minor. This is not just giving a five minute informational speech in front of a public speaking class or something, though. This is a 20-minute long presentation of my novel-in-progress in front of friends, family, fellow English students, and the English faculty. Oh, yeah, and it kind of determines if I graduate or not. No pressure.

The moral of the story is...we're still working. We're still writing. We're just REALLY bad at updating you all.

The Adventures of TamTam and TomTom

I wrote this story for our lovely choreographer. Enjoy and don't forget to read it in your best Giselle voice!

Once upon a time in the horrible, dreadful, no fun land of BigGirlJob, there lived a beautiful maiden named TamTam.
TamTam was nicest and most fun maiden in all the land but she had a secret.When TamTam was just a baby, the evil queen put a curse on TamTam that took away her sense of direction and made it extremely hard for TamTam to find her way.
Over the years, TamTam had become very good at U-turns, but she longed for a noble prince who could help her find her way.
TamTam's curse even extended to those she drove with like Princess Kate who almost killed them upon the scary and very dangerous highway. TamTam needed a prince to come save her from her curse for she knew that true love's kiss was the only thing to break the spell.
One day, when visiting the magical land of Indiana while riding her horse, Clementine, TamTam mistook the land for Canada, a dreadful land up north with lots of snow and ice.TamTam clung to her horse for comfort until at once she came upon a Penguin."
Dearest TamTam," said the Penguin. "Do not fear my child.""How do you know my name?" asked TamTam."Why, everyone on IMMB knows you, TamTam. Can I have a picture?"
"No...unless you can help me find my way out of this dreadful land. Then I will surely take a picture with you, Penguin."
"Just follow this Idina Purple Stone Road. It will take you to your prince."
In a flash of neon green smoke the Penguin was gone.TamTam stepped upon the first stone of the road as more stones appeared with each step.
TamTam led Clementine to the end of the road which stopped at the castle of the almighty queen Dory.
As TamTam walked to the edge of the moat, a draw bridge came down and a small Frog summoned TamTam.
"Did you have trouble finding the castle, dear?" asked the Frog.
"No, I just followed the Idina Purple Stone Road the whole way," she replied.
"It's good to see you've made it, TamTam."
"You know my name too?"
"Everyone on IMMB knows you, TamTam!"
So TamTam followed the Frog down a long corridor until she came to a doorway.
"Here is where your challenge begins. You must prove that you are worthy of your prince by performing for him," the frog told her.
"But I haven't any talents to show, Frog."
"You have until tomorrow to find your special gift,"
The Frog said as he bowed and walked away.
TamTam began to cry feeling like she may never get her prince to break the spell.
Hours went by as TamTam sat trying to come up with a special talent to prove herself worth.
Then, in a poof of pink smoke, the empress ShoSho appeared.
"Why are you crying, TamTam?" asked the empress.
"I have no talent to show my prince my love and he will never break the dreaded spell. Tomorrow I must prove myself worthy," she answered.
"Child, you have the gift of your dancing," she told TamTam and as quickly as she had come, she disappeared.
Tamtam was very confused but began to move her arms and legs. She put her heart and soul into dancing and thought only of her prince. The only problem was she had no music.
"Oh, how I wish I had some music," TamTam sighed.
Then suddenly a flying llama broke down the corridor wall and delivered a CD before flying away.
TamTam put the CD in and began to dance with all of her ability. The king heard the loud crash and came to see what the commotion was about. His was flabbergasted as he watched TamTam's beautiful dance. At once he summoned his son, TomTom.
Upon watching her dance, TomTom knew that TamTam was the princess for him. TomTom ran to TamTam and they began to dance together. Their movements completely in synch and when their dance was over, they fell into an embrace and kiss. TamTam felt the spell break as she suddenly knew her way home.
TamTam had no desire to go home, though, for she knew that TomTom was her true love.
TamTam and TomTom got married the next day and lived happily ever after.
The End.